You're Grounded!!

 It seems I was always grounded as a child. I lived inside of my head so much that I rarely realized I was doing something wrong. I used to joke that this was probably the reason why I had such stifled social skills growing up – which is probably true to some degree, but I think my innate introversion played a bigger part.

But that’s not the grounded-ness that I want to talk about today. Today my thoughts go toward feeling grounded without feeling tethered. As much as I love being free to do and go wherever I choose, I also need a sense of being grounded….a go-to place (even if it’s only in my mind).

I’ve been struggling with that lately. The other day, as I was leaving a shopping center, there were two young men on the corner – one playing an aboriginal-looking instrument, the other, a sign saying “Ho Ho Homeless for Christmas”.  As I drove by them, my first thoughts were: “So am I” – and it didn’t seem so bad. Of course, I’m homeless with a car and gas money – so the correlation really isn’t there.

But I didn’t feel sorry for them as I sensed that their situation was similar to mine: a deliberate choice to try on a lifestyle – to be free and let the universe provide. I could be wrong about them, but I’m spot-on about me. However, these past few days I’ve been wondering just what in the hell I’ve gotten myself into. I feel unsettled and aimless – which is what I deliberately wanted, but I’ve also felt a dreaded ennui come over me – a lack of desire to seek out adventure.

This was supposed to be fun, wasn’t it? This was supposed to be for a purpose, but there are days that I forget that purpose. There are days that I tell myself that if only I had (**fill in the blanks**) then I would be more (**fill in some more blanks**).

The truth is this: I don’t need more of anything to be more of who I am (and you don’t either). Intellectually that’s a big no-brainer. But lately I’m floating through my days feeling not much better than the scraps of litter that accumulate on the side of the road. Intuitively I know that the solution is to find balance: to discover how to be grounded enough and yet remain free to roam about the world. That’s mental territory for me and has very little to do with ‘stuff’.

These days my recognized adventure is a Journey Within. There is no end destination (other than the obvious), so I may as well sit back and enjoy the scenery.

I also know that there are other issues at play going on inside my body and brain that I haven’t talked about – not all of which are in my control….this just might be one of those times that I need to just sit with it and let it pass, and focus on everything I’m so very grateful for . . .  Om.