A Bit Out of Focus, But Getting Clearer Every Day

I am continually in a state of change….It is exhilarating and exhausting at the same time, but I am learning to manage my energy better and just sit back and Love the Adventure.

I am feeling a pull into a new consciousness – but I can’t seem to bring it into focus yet. Like having the words on the tip of your tongue, but instead it’s having a thought on the edge of your awareness.

Here’s what is floating around inside my head:

Animals – Art – Love – Freedom – and the quote ‘Sometimes things fall apart so that new things can come together’…..

Here’s what I know today:

The more I am around nature, the bigger my heart expands and my compassion grows. I love that feeling. Yesterday I drew the two young bucks that visited me a few weeks back, and I have a fox that has been in my thoughts as well – while this is all fine, these thoughts don’t feel like a path – they just feel like the place to begin a new awareness….

You just know I drew these two in front of an Airstream, right?

Here’s how I am coping with not knowing:

Stay in the now

Let my heart expand with love ( it does quite often I realize)

Trust that I don’t need to know

Keep doing what I love

Celebrate new awareness – even if it’s fuzzy.

I have one more celebration:

My Etsy Store Loving the Adventure with Zan Packard has been open for 30 days and I've have so many positive remarks from shoppers - I've had 285 views, 19 favorites (hands down the  favorite is 

The Mindful Journey - Color - Create - Journal ) 

My grown-up coloring book is creating much interest on the web (yay!)

....it is a wonderful beginning. I am thrilled to be part of this wonderful site and know that we will have a fabulous time together - more and more ideas to create are always just  a thought away.....

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CELEBRATED?

 

I hope your answer to that question was yesterday, or minutes ago, but I had to take a  hard look at my answer….because I couldn’t remember the last time. And it’s not because I have nothing to celebrate. Here’s a summary of what I’ve been up to the past 12 months:

• Published my first-ever book: A Life Without Limits
• Reconnected to my creative energy. I am drawing and coloring every day.
• More Than Words workshop was borne…a high energy, fun workshop designed to help others revive their creative juices too.
• Published my second book: a coloring book for grown ups called The Mindful Journey ~ Color, Create, Journal.
• Continued to color and create and developed a line of art and opened my Etsy Store.
• Found and bought a vintage Airstream (AKA Gypsy) that will be my haven and artist’s studio while I’m on the road.
• Rekindled my love of fashion sewing and am finally using the fabric I’ve been collecting for 25 years.

In one short year I can truly say that I am a writer, an artist, an adventurer, a vintage Airstream renovator, and a home fashion sewer (again). And I would be heartbroken if I couldn’t be all of those and more.

So as you can see, there have been rich opportunities of things to celebrate. You would think that I would be jumping for joy with all the accomplishments I’ve done (both internal and external). So the burning question is why the hell aren’t I? Hmmm, I’m still working on that one, but until I fully understand it, I know that I can learn new behaviors:

• I’ve learned how to define and embrace the adventurous side of me (on my terms),
• I’ve learned how to change my relationship with fear so that it no longer defines what I do,
• I’ve learned how to let go and trust whatever comes – to actually enjoy the feelings of uncertainty and anticipation.

 Now it’s time to learn how to CELEBRATE. To begin, I am journaling not only things I am grateful for, but I am imagining myself as my BFF and what I would say to her (me) about who she is and what she is accomplishing, perhaps even write a letter to myself (oh, I know: write a note of congratulations on one of my note cards and send it to myself)….a simple shift perhaps, but I suspect it will be significant….I’ll let you know.

It’s time to infuse some JOY into my life, and I think conscious celebration will accomplish that quite handily.

In the meantime, ask yourself when was the last time you celebrated YOU as being fantastic, wonderful and good enough? It’s a worthy question and worth a moment to think about.