THE WEEK ON A ROLLER COASTER

Birthday girl and all around magnificent child

I know you’re expecting to hear from me today, but things have been pretty busy and I just haven’t been able to clear my brain to get any writing done. So I’ll make this update brief because many of you have been asking how things are going.

Mr. Hyde - puppy supreme

The week started with a very sick puppy who is not out of the woods yet. He has Parvo and it is a hideous virus that has put us all on an emotional roller coaster. Mr. Hyde is a 3 month old German Shepard ….he had his first round of vaccines and contracted this at the time he should have had his second – the Vet is holding off to give him a better chance of fighting this. Yesterday’s prognosis: He isn’t good, but he isn’t horrible…..we are fervently keeping our fingers crossed and our floors and soles of shoes mopped with bleach solution. This morning he was up and wagging his tail for some attention – I’ll take any positive sign I can get on his road to recovery. Go Mr. Hyde!!

Judd (AKA best dog in the world)

The other dog, Judd, is bigger and over a year – he was a rescue pup so we can only assume he’s protected….his size and age might have given him protection, but he is isolated from the pup (vice versa actually) and he is showing no signs of Parvo so we’re breathing sighs of relief.

Child sized horse

 My magnificent grand daughter’s birthday party is (tomorrow) Sunday – I can hardly believe that she will be 5 – they do grow up fast, don’t they? On my way to get her some craft supplies to keep her very creative brain in gear my car decides to die – literally – in the middle of the road. I can see the craft store a block ahead, but I couldn’t leave my car while waiting for the tow truck. So close, but so far away. Because I travel so much, I have the super duper premiere plus roadside towing service, so I got a tow and a ride back to my son’s who just happens to be an ace back yard mechanic…..fuel pump, ordered new one, installed and on the road again – I’ve raised such a wonderful son!!

Multi tasking at its finest

Oh yeah, the internet is a wonderful place to order children’s craft supplies, so I’ve even got that covered – today is spruce up the house/yard day, finish up some odd errands and tomorrow we party!!!

LIFE IS NOT ALL AIRSTREAM

I’ve been playing with my grand daughter this week. She is becoming the most wonderful young lady (she’ll be 5 in a few days) who loves to learn and craft – and she is so good at it.

She’s equally left brain, right brain: She can draw and embellish with detailed flair, and do ‘take-away’ problems too. And she hasn’t even started Kindergarten yet…..

She also loves to go on ADVENTURE. That’s a big word in her vocabulary these days. She’s learning that everything she does can be an adventure.  She and I look for ways to make everything just a little more special just by looking for the fun and the good - or maybe just thinking about something differently. It’s all about attitude, as you know, but this darling child is living it every day. Needless to say, her grandma loves every minute of her fully engaged limitless energy.

But Gypsy is never far from my thoughts either. I did manage to find what I think will be the perfect fabric for the bedroom curtains. It’s currently a duvet set, but nothing like a pair of scissors and a sewing machine to repurpose things. I can see the completed bedroom in my mind – It is filled with my favorite colors and textures and smells. I want everything luxurious yet washable,– and I will do that by scents, colors and layers. This travel trailer (such inadequate words to describe Gypsy) will be a haven while on the road – sort of like a boutique hotel on wheels. Not to mention the artist/writer studio in the front room….she will be a huge part of my personal spirit and energy – but she will give back ten-fold.

I also broke down and got an orbital sander complete with a 50 pack of replacement sanding discs. Since nearly every square inch of Gypsy has to be sanded prior to painting, I realized it’s crazy not to get one….so upon my return to the mountains, I will tote the generator down to her, plug in my new sander – suit up in goggles and dust mask and get ‘er done. So far, my excitement is more about being finished, not doing – Maybe I need a little grand daughter magical thinking to shake things up a bit.

Next week I’m IKEA bound before I head further North. They have great (and inexpensive) cabinet hardware that I want to buy – as it all needs to be replaced. I am also looking for more small space organizing ideas which IKEA is brilliant at.  It will be hard to keep it simple on this trip, don’t you think?

I left the Airstream in such a positive, good space that I’m able to relax and just dream about when I get back– now that’s my kind of adventure. Hope you all enjoy your weekend…you know mine is going to be good.

EARLY MORNING VISITORS and PROGRESS UPDATES

I've been heading down to Gypsy early in the mornings because the weather is starting to heat up here in the North State. She's parked on such a beautiful pad that it's almost like rising with the sun during a camp-out, except of course, on a camp-outs the days are usually filled with relaxation....


I always pass a family of deer on the short half mile compute - and the other day the local fox came by to check things out on his way to his rounds. But I discovered something about squirrels that I never knew: They like the cushy life too.  One morning, on my front mat was the remainder of a pine cone fest.

Remainder of Pine Cone Treat

The cone itself was over on the gravel. I guess the sharp rocks hurt their little pawsies (and a few bits of cone on the chair. Such luxury seeking creatures!!) But hey guys, I'm not really ready for company.


This week I accomplished quite a bit - physically as well as emotionally. The Gaucho/couch needed to come out and I was positive I couldn't wrestle it out by myself. Shows how wrong I was: This is what was there last week:

Living Room Before

This is how she looks today (I am Woman hear me roar!):

Living Room After

Then there was the bedroom that needed gutting....For that one I really did need help. Here is the before and middle (The after is a loooong way off lol).

Bedroom Before

Bedroom Middle

Here's the interesting thing about this part of the tear-out....I started with an finished layout in mind, discovered that that wouldn't work - had a brief moment of disappointment, then realized another, and even better, way to do it. Isn't that always the way? One road block or challenge turns out to be a blessing in disguise.


I've been ripping out the remainder of the flooring, scrubbing away 27 years of dirt and grime and feeling, all in all, very satisfied. 


There's something very personal about stripping things down to bare bones and starting fresh. I still have a long, long way to go, and I'm heading out this weekend for a 2-3 week road trip to visit friends and children. 


But I'm pretty thankful to be leaving Gypsy at this stage - I will return with fresh excitement and energy, and get some much needed painting done....

LEFT BRAIN OR RIGHT BRAIN?

RIGHT BRAIN OR LEFT BRAIN – DOES IT MATTER?

There is no one way to think, however there is a balanced way to use your brain. Most of us use both sides of our brains fairly equally – and thankfully so.  Our western society values the abilities of the left side of the brain. Those with less than lineal, sequential, detail-oriented thinking are often deemed less capable.

I think it is wise to keep both hemispheres fired up as often as possible. The benefits are many: Better problem solving skills, greater creativity, ability to see the big picture as well as the details. Yes balanced thinkers have the ability to accomplish many, many tasks.

If you are wondering which side of the brain you use the most, you can take this simple (non-scientific) quiz. It’s also available on www.zanpackard.com under the CREATIVITY tab.

I find that I function most often in the left brain mode, but I suspect that I have been conditioned that way. I am happiest, however, when I am in right brain mode because typical limitations don’t exist for me there. So what’s the difference, you ask?

The left hemisphere is where the Ego lives. Ego is a great thing when you have a healthy, strong one. But most of us have a few ego challenges. Our ego likes to keep up a steady brain chatter leaving you little quiet time to just think. Now, if your ego is healthy then the chatter can be beneficial while you’re doing left brain activities. It can help you stay on task and make sure you are doing things in the proper sequence. But if your ego is like mine, and thousands of others, your ego is a pretty tough task master. Rather like the school yard bully – pointing out all the things that you are doing wrong and doing very little to support you when you need it most.

On the other hand, your right hemisphere has no judgment. It’s rather like the flower child of the 60s. It seeks freedom from structure and finds harmony in everything it does. Yes, the right brain is your inner hippy –Your right brain knows your purpose and your value and doesn’t hesitate to tell you. It is the nature of the right brain to be totally accepting, completely free of judgments and expectations which in turn creates a feeling of deep peace and contentment.

Which one do you want to listen to most often?

Keep reading because I’m going to share a technique to get your right-brain-inner-creativity into action. It’s easy, it’s fun and it’s pretty powerful stuff if you stay with it.

Ready to flex your creative muscles?

Sometimes Life's Not Just Another Day at the Beach

Airstreams and Palm Trees

I will tell you one thing, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by in the last 2 weeks that hasn’t been filled with some sort of confusion, clarity and epiphany.  It seems that I am remodeling my inner world as much as I am remodeling my outer world.

Who knew that the process of painting my cabinet doors would give me the opportunity to be thoughtful about my vulnerability? And just what does it mean to be vulnerable anyway? I can put a whole list of labels on it, but the bottom line is that some days not knowing feels exciting – other days not knowing feels vulnerable. But thankfully I’ve discovered that it’s OK to feel vulnerable. It’s not a good thing nor a bad thing….it just is, and that too shall pass.

I always thought I had faith in myself before, but I realize that I always needed to know where I was going. Today NOT knowing where I’m going and trusting that I am going in the right direction means everything to me.  It still feels a little amazing to realize that I’m not too unnerved by having no idea of what my future holds – but I’m still walking boldly into it.

My mantra pre-Gypsy was “you don’t have to know where you’re going or how you’ll get there – all you have to do is get the Airstream….then and only then will everything begin to unfold”. It’s been 2 weeks – a drop in the ocean compared to the rest of my life. If I move forward I celebrate it. If I need to pause, I allow it. If I stumble, I get back up and take another step. It is all as it should be, don't you think?

BTW - a big thank you to all who have contacted me with comments and support. Your words bring joy to my heart. Even though I am doing this for myself, sharing it with you is pretty cool too.

There Should Be a Sign on the Door

There should be a sign on the door “Caution, Woman with Power Tools Inside”. 

As you well know, Gypsy was delivered last week and I had some happy tears to welcome her home. The week that followed held more emotional surprises. My Inner Sissy met head-on with my Inner Kick Ass. The first few days were pure terror: Was I strong enough? Was I knowledgeable enough? Did I have enough money to do this renovation? What the Hell was I thinking?

Thankfully it only took me a few days to get my Macho back and one way I did this was to reframe the project. I’ve spent so many years proving to myself that life is all in attitude and perspective – so it’s nice that I had this thought process to fall back on. The first thing I had to do was to stop focusing on what isn’t done and start celebrating what is getting done – no matter how small.

I’m still deciding how to celebrate my successes. Some small daily ritual of self empowerment is in order, but for now, this blog will be my celebration.

So what have I accomplished this week?

1. The first two days were spent whining and being overwhelmed at the project I’ve gotten myself into – that wasn’t all bad however, I’ve been able to realize just what I wanted to get out of this project (besides a really cool Vintage Airstream). I wanted to get back that feeling of self-sufficiency and blind, can-do trust in myself.

2. Removed all drapes and the tracks that held them (That took 2 days because they were so filthy that my allergies were raging, and well, there’s only so much that can get done when you’ve got a box of tissues in one hand.)

3. Learned how to remove the tambour doors (for when I eventually paint them) – and by-the-way, this is no small task: It starts out with a few simple, visible screws, but the real set of screws is sort of hidden and very hard to get to – let’s see, I have 9 doors?

4. Was able to remove the bed platform enough to see that Yes, I can reposition the bed across the back wall. And, No, I cannot remove the built in dresser by myself – so the bedroom will have to wait.

5. Finally got the living room credenza out!! That was mucho empowering….

Before - credenza still in place

After - now there's room for my Eames Chair

6. see the pile of stuff that has been removed?

Stuff going, going,gone!!

And the zillion screws that I’ve had to remove – many by hand because the drill wouldn’t fit it the tight spots.

Don't laugh - this took a lot of time

7. I have also been chipping away at getting the gaucho couch out, but I think that too will have to wait for some more muscle. My ego has really taken a hit on what I can’t do, but I realized that I CAN do everything above the windows: clean, paint, install new shelf, install new shades and curtains – that will keep me busy for weeks I’m sure.

8. Also found a source for reasonably priced roller shades during a fact finding trip into town. All windows will have lightweight (washable) curtains but I also need some privacy shades at night. I will eventually redo all shades with some sort of fabric for a more finished look.

I promise, I will post pictures when there is actually a before and after to see – right now it doesn’t look like I’ve done much of anything (Hence the list of accomplishments)….Once the paint, window coverings and new LED lighting is done, I will definitely share the progress with you.

FIRST I CRIED

Gypsy - hours after landing in her new home

You know that feeling that you get when you want something so badly that it takes over every cell of your existence: you taste it, you breathe and no matter what you’re doing, you never really stop thinking about it? But you can hardly handle thinking about it because with those thoughts comes the fear of not getting it. And you’re positive that you will never, never, never be able to handle that loss. All the other losses life throws at you maybe, but not that loss.

Yet you allow yourself a tiny moment to feel the dream of having it – the joy you will feel; the pride and yes, even the fact that everything in your life will change with this one fundamental achievement. Your entire body is awash with the warmth of knowing that this is exactly what you should be doing, and you are close. So very close. You see yourself dancing around celebrating your good fortune, enjoying the fruits of your labor. Living the good life.

That’s exactly what I’ve been going through the past several months. Constantly visioning my life of freedom on the road – untethered, going where spirit takes me. Constantly planning my ‘perfect’ abode.  In the beginning it was a motorhome, but that just didn’t feel right – so I sat with those feelings. Then I realized that if I was going to do this – give up possessions and being grounded – I needed to do whatever it takes to do it right – not settle for almost or close enough, but stand my ground for the premium dream: An Airstream.

On May 17^th, 2012 she was delivered. Today marks the beginning of a whole new life for me. Yesterday I thought that I would be uncorking the champagne and celebrating like a PhD who has successfully defended their dissertation.  But today, after completing the legal transfer, before I could celebrate….first I cried. The relief, the joy and the strain of mentally holding my breath finally flooded over me and the tears fell like rain. Today I cried because I didn’t know what else to do. Tomorrow I might know, but today I will simply be grateful for the goodness in my life.