Things have been a bit unsettled in my life for quite a while as I continue to figure out just what it is that I want and need. What I’ve learned (and have always known) is that my wants and needs are very fluid. I’m very O.K. with that – and the only time I get myself into trouble is when I try to stay with one thing for any length of time.
I’ve spent years learning to listen to the voice of my Inner Source, and to identify that other ego-driven voice. Years in learning how to act on vague feelings that feel true and still be a responsible, productive person. Years in discovering what it is that I really want out of life, and how to accomplish it.
I don’t know if it’s my intense curiosity, or my ADD, but every time I listen to the need to have, I falter – every time I listen to the need to do, I soar. So even though I’ve collected a ton of stuff, I have spent the last few years letting go and just doing more.
But, it just wasn’t quite enough. I still felt constrained. I needed to just go wherever spirit took me. I’m quite past the ‘what will people think’ stage, but I was missing something. And once again the gift of a bad back was bestowed upon me. Every time I packed and loaded my car it seems I tweaked a muscle in my back. Every time I visited others and slept in anything less than a memory foam mattress, my back started to ache. So I needed to solve the dilemma of how to travel with a decent bed, and not lug my stuff in and out of houses (and often up and down stairs).
You’re probably way ahead of me in knowing where this is leading, but sometimes I’m a slow learner – so bear with me as I go through my process.
So I identified some very critical and fundamental needs/wants/desires:
To be able to go where spirit leads me
Work from my laptop
Not have to load and unload anything more than groceries
Have a great bed to sleep in
Solitude with occasional isolation
A sense of adventure (see first one)
FREEDOM (which is mostly in the mind, but my mind needs the ability to go at a
moment’s whim.)
O.K., I have to admit something to you right now: many years ago I emphatically stated that you’d never catch me traveling in an RV – that’s what hotels are for, I scoffed, and besides, who wants to travel with their dirty dishes? So my sense of adventure always came with a bellhop or a Park Ranger – nothing in between.
Skip to today – and things have changed a bit. Most of my road trips are to visit friends and family. Nothing is sweeter than that, but I still had to schlepp my stuff to and fro my car. My week at Burning Man this year also played a big part in my shift of today – I love radical self-reliance. I love setting my own rules and criteria. I love camping. When I returned a few short weeks ago, I wasn’t ready to stop. I wasn’t ready to stay put, and I’ve been traveling far more than I’ve been staying in my own bed.
O.K., now it’s all coming together in my mind (you were already there, weren’t you?). Now I have to swallow my words of scorn from my younger years, and now it seems that a life of full time RVing is the perfect solution for me.
So, I’ve given notice on my flat in San Francisco and am on the hunt for the perfect vehicle to fix up and live in a la Gypsy Zan. In my mind, I’m committing to a year on the road. At the end of that year, I will re-evaluate the situation and go from there. I’ve spent a week looking at every angle – and I can find very few things against this. For me, for where I am in my life, it is the only thing that makes sense.
Stay tuned – and I will keep a running account of the search for a perfect RV, the fix-up and the road trips ahead. When I shared my ideas with my wonderful nephew, he said:
"That motorhome idea sounds so cool and perfect. I think your level of fun is about to get upped even more when you will be able to travel on an instant whim and make your backyard completely new any time you want."
Well, when you put it that way!!! Thanks to all who have chimed in similarly…you too are my family.
