Less is More - Are you Ready to Let Go and Have All You Need?

The minute you take more than you need you not only become a burden, you carry a burden as well. Less is more. 

Plant Yourself in the Best Possible Environment

I haven’t posted anything for a while. I hope you have missed me and have been wondering what has happened. Has San Francisco been so wonderful that I’ve lost my way to the computer? Am I so busy with the joy of living that I’ve forgotten to share the riches with you?

Well, I know that San Francisco is wonderful, and I haven’t been very far from a computer either, but I’ve been light years away from the internet, and miles from San Francisco. Since I couldn’t move immediately, I planned for some much needed R&R before I hit the ground running in the fast lane. What I got instead was a big dose of reality slapped smack-dab on the forehead.

How could I go back to circumstances that I had worked so hard to escape from? Did I think that I was bigger than the environment? Did I forget all that felt wrong with this life that I am visiting? Was I so used to living in lap of nourishment that I thought that the entire world was like that – that somehow I had changed so much that location simply didn’t matter anymore?

Location matters. Environment can nourish or kill – you may think it’s you, but if you are living in a harsh environment (according to your unique needs), you cannot blossom with all your potential If you’re an orchid in the desert the environment will quite probably kill you and at the very least, stunt you.

There is a saying that ‘Where ever you go, there you are’ – implying that movement from one place to another to find happiness is folly. But that doesn’t account for those of us who are seeking a more harmonious place to live – a place where our souls can breathe and flourish; a place that will allow us to breathe and explore and yes, blossom to our hearts content. That is where we need to be. Never forget that. Location matters.

I realize from the past week (and dear God help me, the remaining two weeks) that I cannot thrive in a hostile environment. It’s not the environments fault any more than it is mine. It is simply an acknowledgement of fact. I am not the hardy daisy that can bloom with beauty just about anywhere. Thankfully, I am not the persnickety orchid either – whose demands are far more exacting than what I require to thrive.

I am perhaps, more like the hardy Zantedeschia (Calla lily – Notice the clever play on words?). Given the right conditions it is a weed – you never have to water it; you can chop it to the ground and it will keep coming back – but it will not grow in anything less than what it requires. When it gets this, it is always beautiful, always giving because it blooms regularly with ease.

I have found my garden in which to bloom, I am simply awaiting transport there. For now, I am stunted and hampered by my location. I feel disloyal and less friend-like for these thoughts, but I cannot help what my needs are. This too shall pass….and I look forward to being the best Zan I know how to be once I am ‘home’ – where my soul thrives and my heart sings. It is a good journey that I am on– just not a very happy one right now. 

Lesson (Re)Learned

Remember that ‘perfect’ flat that I was hoping beyond hope for the other day? Well, a little birdie and a very good friend reminded me that if something that seems perfect doesn't work out, it’s usually because something even better is waiting for them. RIGHT ON.

I came back to my hostel that day and felt – well, less than confident that the perfect little flat was meant to be. Yes I felt a wonderful connection to the room, but not so much with the flat mates. So even though I wanted that place, I knew I needed to keep looking. Well, it was only day one of my search and as much as I love answers, I am here to purposely let things unfold, so I powered up the laptop and went back to my favorite site: Craigslist.

Voila, there was another flat that sounded very much like the one I had just fallen in love with but the flat mates were different. My gut was doing a happy dance, but my brain was saying don’t get your hopes up. Gotta love a good gut message!! I responded and they responded and the next day I had spent 2 hours thoroughly enjoying their company and loving the overall energy of the flat. I knew I was home.

So let me explain why I’m approaching my move to San Francisco this way – renting a room from strangers when I’ve been chief cook and bottle washer for oh so many years. San Francisco is expensive – sharing a flat makes financial sense. I’m also not really sure where I want to live – oh, I think I know, but until I spend lots and lots of time exploring different areas will I really know. Those are 2 very good reasons alone, but the real motivation is having a built in community. No, I’m not looking for a family, or best friends, but I am looking to interact with people in a warm, authentic way.

You know I am an introvert, and that it’s not always easy for me to reach out and meet people. Some days I’m a Chatty Cathy, other days I’m very content to be the observer. Having flat mates will help me transition into my community – who better to recommend a favorite eating spot or hiking trail or downtown place to be? Who better to share thoughts on life with over a glass of vino after an exciting day’s exploration?

I look back on the times in my life that I’ve had room mates and they are truly some of the happiest times of my life – was it the living situation or my life situation? Probably both, but I can tell you that I am looking forward to this time and these women to build my base in San Francisco. It seems like such a no brainer doesn’t it?

One thing I’ve learned for sure all these years – nothing is carved in stone and everything can and does change. That is what I’m embracing about life right now – change. No longer do I need things wrapped up in a neat little package for comfort. The unknown is feeling very appealing and right where I want to be. Here’s to Loving the Adventure.

Day 4 and the Sun is Shining Outside and in My Heart

I’ve talked to more people that are visiting and wish that they could live here. Of course, I couldn’t agree more and how blessed I feel to know that soon, I will have a real address here….Lots of hopeful things on the horizon and I’ll keep you posted as I continue my Adventure. 

Why Would Anybody Hostel It?

To be honest, this is my first hostel stay in America – Fisherman’s wharf in San Francisco. So I can’t speak for other hostels (and I know this one has had a great reputation for years), I can only tell you about my experience with this one.

Why am I staying here? It’s cheap – I don’t know how long it will take me to secure a place to live, and I really don’t care to spend the whole day alone. You probably know that I’m not much of a night goer – but I don’t want to hole up in a hotel room either.

Sure I’m a loner, but a little solitude goes a long way these days. That’s the reason I chose this – but since I’ve been here, another benefit has appeared. I’m used to traveling in comfort – car or cabs, decent hotels, and interesting restaurants: All very cozy, but not very much outside of my comfort zone. I always thought the destination was the excitement. But hostels are just a bit edgy – not in my comfort zone at all.

I’ve enjoyed the contrast in traveling this way – how often I had chosen to travel carrying all my homey accouterments in the past….not this time. I am truly out of my comfort zone, but not uncomfortable at all.

Hostel Pluses

+Cheap, cheap, cheap (my stay is $27/night – ummmm, this is on the wharf – hellllllo)

+Free breakfast with bottomless cup of coffee

+Reasonable lunch and dinners ($5 for the dinner special- I don’t eat lunch)

+Relaxed yet active – there are great portions of the day where you have the place to yourself but also lots of time with people quietly mingling around.

+Always someone to talk to – this may be called a youth hostel, but there are all ages staying here.

+Surrounding Parkside area to be one with nature.

+Free current movies each night (I’ll finally get to see Social Network if I’m back in time Wednesday night).

Hostel Minuses

- Hard core music in the common room (easily taken care of with my earphones and MP3)

- Bedding less than luxurious (I mistakenly ‘stored’ my favorite comforter which would have made all the difference).

- Lack of privacy – not a huge issue for me– but not for the feint-of-heart either – you have to be willing to share your space.

As you can see – the deck is pretty much stacked in favor. I’m sure other pluses and minuses will come out over the next few days, but for now, I’m loving the adventure!

Can I Get a Healthy Dose of Faith Please?

It’s been a long time since I really, really cared if someone liked me. Don’t get me wrong, I think I am highly likeable, so I usually just allow people to like me or not. But I’ve found a place to rent here in San Francisco that I hope, I mean really, really hope is mine.

I loved it so much that I found myself nervous that I would be the kind of renter that they would want – Geez, how I hate to be judged – but this place is just ideal for me. I don’t know if you’ve ever done a vision board for that future something that you want, but I did one for ‘manifesting’ my perfect place here in San Francisco. This place has it all….

I saw 2 places today: one was very, very nice (terrific location) but not perfect. The other was PERFECT. I called a friend of mine all nervous about getting approved and she reminded me that if the ‘perfect’ place falls through, it usually means that something even better is waiting for me.

Faith. Right? That’s what I’ve had to have a healthy dose of in order to make this move happen, so why should I quit now? I’m going to pass on the less than perfect (sorry Amy), and keep looking while I hold out for perfect.

But I’m the lady that wants all the answers RIGHT NOW….hmmmm. Guess that will have to change. How do you handle manifesting a dream and being so close you can taste it yet have to wait to find out if it’s yours or not? 

My Life as a Blank Canvas

 An empty room can be an ending or a beginning. Remember the last time you moved? How the thought of packing up all your worldly possessions seemed overwhelming? Do you remember the feeling of watching your environment go from controlled serenity to chaos and finally nothingness?

As I walked out the door of my sleepy little beach town condo for the last time, I was amazed at how little I felt. I was happy to have had the time there, and just as happy to move on (literally) to another locale.

I’m in the nothingness stage of my adventure, and I say that in a good way. Nothing: as in blank canvas, blank slate – weightless, without constraint.

I had a wonderful night’s sleep last night as I am now (finally) on my way – no longer finishing up, but beginning anew. I have no idea what awaits me in San Francisco – and that is the allure for me. That is what I am ready for in my life right now. I am ready to create. I am ready to begin. I am ready to be a San Franciscan.